Ahaha . . . I'm bored. So welcome to my stream of conciousness.
Starting with: Why are laptops such a pain to use?? I mean, come on. If there's one thing that needs to work proper, it's the farking keyboard. If I'm missing any h's, you know why.

Second, who here doesn't love steampunk? I mean really, who couldn't? You four watchers, you need to check out [link] right now. Even if you don't know what steampunk is, the site has a nice definition. So go, download, read the first two issues, fall in love, eat some ice cream, print some copies for your friends, and educate yourself of a victorian past that never was. Well, I love it anyways . . .

What else? Ah . . . Are there any cons in Missouri outside of Kansas City? I don't think so. Any con would do, really. I just want to go to one! If anyone would sponsor my trip to Australia for GO3 or LA for Anime Expo . . . XD! Really, I think Kansas City has a con, and if I make it to the college I want to go to this coming year, I'll be there!

Speaking of school. Currently, I've been taking a College Algebra course courtesy of Jefferson College. Thank you Northwest Missouri State for making this a requirement pending on my admittance to the college. I love the opportunity, but you guys really suck.

My professor, Mr. Ex-Airforce, likes to say that the course he teaches is really Pre Calculus, but it's all the information from my Trigonometry textbook that I did such a crappy job learning last year. Fun stuff. So, now I don't know what course I'm in anymore. Nice guy, though.

But last year was so easy! I mean incredibly so! I had two classes every day where I did nothing else but go on the computer all day. (Creative writing and Computer Applications) Nothing really grated on my nerves like World History. Which turned out to be European History. Who knew? No one could have prepared me for the sheer mental anguish the ignorance that caused me. This guy was strictly by the books. If it wasn't in the answer sheet, it was wrong. Strange, because I could find answers from the text excluded from the answer sheet. Yeah. And the people were no better. From the homophobe to my left, the racists behind me, and the creepy stalker-esque kid in front, I was trapped.

[RANT]
Let's speak of the homophobe first. Or think, rather, as this is a stream of conciousness, after all. Or rant. It's my journal, right? Well, he's a good enough guy, besides the point. A gamer like myself, though lacking in any experience in Final Fantasy. Fair enough; I refuse to play Halo. But I was preparing a birthday party with his sister when it was brake time and she began to tell me of a family reunion that was held at a gay couple's home. The homophobe storms down the stairs making claims about a cruel joke that was played upon him during the reunion. The joke? Oh, they didn't tell him the couple was gay. Yep. That was the worst thing that could have happened to him. Not dying a horrible death in a car accident, not gluing his hands to himself while he slept. Shaking hands with a gay man was the joke. Excuse me, but what in the nine hells? It's difficult to belay contempt via computer monitor, beleive me. So you'll just have to imagine your own brand of disgust.

Next, the racists. Between hearing "Stupid Jew. Stupid Chink. Stupid wetbacks." I was going to go insane. I live in the middle of nowhere and if you want proof, listen to the sheer ignorance of any random teenager. I'm thoroughly convinced we're all a bunch of morons with nothing better to do than sit at home and get high. Friggin' potheads are the majority out here, which isn't bad considering Jefferson County used to be the Meth capital of the world a while back. I think China is in the lead. Back to the point. I have to say that the best trip-up comes when they make a black joke. What's great is I turn to them and politely inform them that my grandfather's black and that it's a direct insult to me and my family. You'd probably have to know me to get the full effect: I'm five-one, pale and rosy (code for splotchy), blue eyed, and usually have nearly magenta colored hair, cut short. Fun times. While it's true, he is black, but he's my Gramps by marriage. I love my Gramps!

Oh, mind my ignorance in the coming paragraph. I absolutely cannot cope with those fixated on me and lack total basic communication skills. It's goddamn creepy, alright? I have my limits to what I can deal with. And what I just can't. It began normally enough, I felt sorry for a kid being picked on, introduced myself and made a witty lead in to understand the kid in question. Unfortunately, he comes on a little strong. Understatement. (It makes me laugh now, when my ex said he wasn't that bad, I wanted to smack him, but maybe it's the vindictive female role I'd fallen into.) I suppose what the kid needed was a friend, but the only thing I had to offer was kindness. (Empire Falls, anyone? Excellent movie!) So he played this odd game of venting various family problems, making me feel awkward. (I really am polite to a fault, which was brought to my attention soon after. But is it politeness when you only put up with someone?) But nothing compares to the strange attempts he made to catch my attention. Yes, that attention. Wasn't going to happen. He'd ask me a simple enough question like the answer to number four and under his breath mumble something along the lines of "I love you." I'd feign ignorance until he quit with that. Poor kid. (Is it condescending to refer to him as a child when that was truly how he behaved? Every mannerism of his reminded me of fifth grade, but maybe that's as far as he could have matured mentally. Even I could tell the kid was touched in the head.) There were more than a few times I treated him badly though, between this journal entry and in school. A kid who used to sit beside me would whisper a comment about him to me in plain sight and we'd both laugh. Much to further prove his childishness, he'd beg me to tell him what was said until I convinced him it was nothing. I guess I feel sorry for the kid now, but I'd scream if I were put in the same situation again.

Oh, wait. I was. Damn kids. Driver's Ed, right? Supposed to be mature enough to drive, right? Oh, this kid was the living epidomy of what's wrong with our youth. Except I think he was supposed to be a sophomore the coming year. I've seen lemmings with more sense than this child. But was he more bearable than the kid from History class? You tell me. I felt that this kid would react well to the Swift and Righteous Backhand of Justice. Meaning he was more immature and less psychotic. Yet again, I fell into my own sympathetic trap. I didn't think so many people existed that I should be wary of . . . That'll teach me to be so kind!
[/Rant]

I feel a wee bit better now! In other news, visit [link] and be enlightened! Or something. Really, I'm in love with their song "Japanese Pop", but that's because I'm a total Japanophile. Oh, well.

I really do plan to get some "art" stuffs up soon, you know! Give me a week and I'll give you an ill-proportioned sketch with a lot of white space! Anime has had an adverse effect on me . . . Twelve paragraphs later and I give you: The end. Goodnight, everybody! All four of you!

So, here's the deal, I'm sort of swamped with deviations and messages (most of which are mostly journals, ACK!). If I don't reply to a comment I posted that you replied to, don't take it personally! I've got four hundred deviations to sort through, and three hundred messages.

I'm beginning to think that watching one hundred and eighteen artists was a bad idea . . . and maybe I should turn off scraps for a few of those . . .

Everything is necessary! If you don't mind, it's nearly lunch time and I've actually got some work to do in class! T_T

Tis something else~



But maybe I put it over here . . .



Or here?


I confess, I'm bored! Yesterday was good, considering I got the house to myself. Life's wonderful when you can stay home when you feel the need. School's a bore, anyway.

I am exceedingly pissed.
I thought I'd avoid a journal on Virginia Tech.
I was so wrong.

I was pissed by Tuesday. It's not much better now. Today, my school is honoring the dead in a nationwide event. We were to wear burgundy and orange. The whole day will focus on the shooting. I am partially ashamed that I am one of the few students who bothered.

It's second hour right now, Friday. I'm in English. We are watching the video of the bastard, but I didn't really want to. He thinks he's a martyr. That's what gets me. How the fuck can you possibly compare yourself to Christ? How the fuck can you die for a cause no one cares for? I apologize, guy. I don't know what you went through. I don't know how you were treated. I don't care. Killer. You writhed in your self pity. You killed the innocent. You could have been helped. You could have been a decent person. Once you take a life, that shit's all over.

You are like Jesus on the cross? Fuck no. No. Never. I may not be a Christian, Catholic, or Protestant. I may not believe in Heaven or Hell. You are not an honorable man. You did not die for your beliefs. You killed for them. And then you pussed out and off'd yourself. That is a terrible offense. You held no regard for the students and faculty you killed. You are little more than a base creature. You are a beast.

At first, I began with an enraged notion of the audacity of the news media. They claim that Counter-Strike contributed to his nature. They fail to claim that the man --no, beast-- must have been a bit mad to begin with. I instead find myself enraged about the event. That is how it should be.

In closing, have an excellent day. Make the best of it. I'll be camping this weekend. The quiet will do me some good. My heart goes out to the family of all the victims, including the beast.

So, I said that I may be getting a tablet.

I lied. So I got a Wii instead!! Yay! Which is nowhere in the price range that the tablet was, but it still makes me happy.

[WARNING--RANT!!]
Oh, ouch, uh, my last and only entry was in October. Wow. That's horrible. Well I do have some sketches that I may post, I might not. This is what we call a serious lack of confidence, but I just compare myself to just about everyone else on here. [SARCASM] That definitely a way to get better! [/SARCASM] Well, I had planned to install a copy of Adobe Illustrator on the family PC, but the parental units aren't really sure that's a good idea. That and the fact that I'm not comfortable using color would pretty much be the reasons why there's nothing up as of yet. I do have this set of Copics that I love to doodle with, but that's a serious violation of their rights. It's cruel and unusual punishment for markers so friggin' expensive. The craft store doesn't even carry them anymore. Now, it's all Prismacolor, which I don't quite like as much. I really need to buy a flesh tone set before I even think about really posting anything in color.
[CODE GREEN]

Ack. Well, considering the fact that I pretty much ought to be writing in my creative wriing class, I might post something up later. Like I've said three times before.